Sliding Doors: How To Get To A Better Place

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Should I have taken one opportunity, over another? Should I have worn blue today instead of green? Should I have gone down 5^thStreet instead of 4^th? Should I have studied computers, instead of business in school? Should I have said this, instead of that? Should I have sent that email, or shouldn’t I have? Should I have left, instead of staying?

Questions like these nag our thoughts from time to time as we journey through our days, weeks, career, and life.

This “what if” dilemma reminds me of a nostalgic movie called Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow, that came out a while ago. The storyline starts out with Helen, a public relations professional, gets fired from her job for no reason. She leaves the building and drops an earring in the elevator and the man picks it up for her. She then rushes for the train and misses it. From that point in time, the story splits into two different realities, which is dependent on if she catches that particular train.

Door A: If she caught the train she meets James and starts a conversation. She gets home early only to find her boyfriend, Gerry, in bed with his ex-girlfriend. Helen dumps him. James pops into her life cheering her up and talk of her starting her own public relations agency. Eventually, Helen and James fall in love. Helen finds out she is pregnant and goes to tell James. But Helen encounters heartbreak when she finds out he is married. Upset, Helen leaves only to have James find her on a bridge. He explains he is in a middle of a divorce, and James and Helen declare their love for one other. As they walk from the bridge onto a road, Helen is hit by a van. This universe was a simpler path but ended up in tragedy.

Door B: If Helen missed the train, she winds up having to hail a cab. A man tries to steal her purse and injures her sending her to the hospital. She eventually arrives home late and misses the fact that her boyfriend is having an affair. Helen is not able to find another PR job and has to take two part-time jobs. Meanwhile, Gerry’s ex-girlfriend who wants him torments Helen. Helen finds out she is pregnant but finally learns that Gerry is cheating. She suddenly leaves and takes a tumble down a flight of stairs and winds up in the hospital. She lost the baby. Helen leaves the hospital. She meets James and fall in love. This universe was a bumpier path, but she wound up wiser, alive and happier.

We all have our “sliding door” moments. So how can we leverage challenging sliding door moments to get to a better place?

Here are 3 things I’ve learned along the way that might be helpful.

There are typically no “quick fixes” to struggles. That's the point.

Like Helen, going through a painful experience got her to a better place and only when she was ready for it. The crucial truth is that by going through challenging times will help make us ready for phenomenal times.

2. Leverage the power of letting go.

We can’t control everything. This is a tougher thing for me, mainly because I tend to have a “fixer” mindset. If something is broken, not working well, or hurting others...I want to fix it. I get it. There are times we can’t control what is going on around us. However, we can control our own thoughts, attitudes, actions, and choices we make.

3. Make every experience, a learning experience.

Turn difficult experiences into gems. No matter the difficulty, no one can deny your personal growth...no one. We learn more about ourselves when faced with a challenge then sailing through life. Try journaling your experiences. Find ways to use what you learned to help others.

We all have our “sliding door” moments. Our “moments” are sometimes painful and overwhelming. But we can learn a lot about ourselves when going through tough experiences. Instead of obsessing over “what if”, leverage moments to getting yourself and helping others to a better place.

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Tresha Moreland

Tresha Moreland is a 30-year organizational effectiveness and strategic workforce planning expert. She partners with business leaders to develop workplace strategies that achieve best-in-class results. She has held key organizational leadership roles in multiple industries such as manufacturing, distribution, retail, hospitality, and healthcare. Tresha is the founder and principal consultant of HR C-Suite, LLC (www.hrcsuite.com). HR C-Suite is a results-based HR strategy resource dedicated to connecting HR with business results. She has received a master’s degree in human resource management (MS) and a master’s degree in business administration (MBA). She has also earned a Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR), Six Sigma Black Belt Professional (SSBBP) Certification. She is also recognized as a Fellow with the American College Healthcare Executives with a FACHE designation.